Dear Emma,

I thought you'd be coming around this week but it turns out, it's not one of those weeks and I'm not someone who hasn't "shifted". I don't know what's going on. Usually you and I are a good team at pinpointing when the next shift will be. Regardless, since you've been meticulous in keeping me up to speed with what's been going on in my/our life, I'll return the favor (stop calling bullet journaling a pedestrian activity, you like it and there's nothing wrong with it. Besides, it keeps me organized.):

If for one reason or another, my father wants to have brunch with me when you're around, please make up an excuse. You know that I trust you but I really can't get used to the whole telepathy thing and you're more... invasive with it than I wish to be. I know you think you're helping sometimes but I'd really rather not know what my parents are thinking. Tell him I'll be at Thanksgiving and I've been busy.

Please keep my fantasy football team as is unless someone is having a bye week or there's an injury.

Both of us need to stop having self doubt about being a good friend and a leader. I know that I'm... flaky as you've told me a few times and sometimes I get caught up in my own drama. I don't check in with people as much as I need to. Meanwhile, you don't want to be seen as vulnerable. There has to be a way we can remedy this. I know I've been deflated lately and I'll get to why in a moment but. You work well with Lola/Ororo/Storm. Ignore my self doubt and the fact that I've been "off".

I know this is something that neither of us asked for. I can't help but feel like everything in my life was predetermined now that I've lived with this for a year. Are any of my decisions my own? We have too much in common like our backgrounds. My friends are your people. Everything feels like I had no choice in this matter. It's been so easy to go with the flow and deal with everything as it comes because fortunately, you've had my best interests at heart. I don't know. I was sitting at my desk this morning having a coffee and I have a meeting in November and everything hit me; that November was the first time last year that I had gaps in my memory and you went on your little shopping spree. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful that the only thing you've damaged is my bank account. That brings me to my next thing.

Oh, before that, I've been taking kickboxing classes like you told me to in order to keep in shape and be able to defend myself in case we come against someone possessed by the Phoenix again. Maybe I spoke too soon when I said you always have my best interests at heart but... sometimes you need to walk away and not confront someone on a cosmic tear. That's my two cents.

I don't know whether or not you'll think this part is "good riddance" but... Eli and I broke up because, guess what, Erik is around all of the time now. He wants to get his head on straight and adjust. I don't know how he's going to accomplish that with Erik around and really, I don't want to bore you with the details. What you should focus on is that with Erik being around twenty four hours a day, seven days a week that now he has more time to... scheme. Eli's stubborn but Erik's worse. I don't know how this is going to pan out. I don't know what to do. You know that the both of us hate feeling helpless.

I guess I'll see you soon,
Erin

PS: But I do have a meeting next week that you can use your telepathy during. There, we're even. I'm still not used to having any sort of abilities and I really don't want telepathy outside of that shift - sorry.

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